If you struggle with feeling incomplete or lost or not-enough, fret not. You have everything you need. You aren’t incomplete or broken or missing any pieces. It’s just that you haven’t fully awakened to your full, in-born potential. Perhaps you’ve been pushed down, stifled or suffocated. Perhaps you have been shaped and molded into something other than your you-est you.
Every time you were told to be quieter or louder, more demure or more brave, smarter or to downplay your wits, not so serious or more serious, thinner or heavier. Another layer. Every time you were made to feel that you weren’t pretty enough or that you should be ashamed of your beauty, every time you were told to tone it down, to be less brazen or bold, or to speak up and stop being so meek. That’s another layer. Every time someone shushed a raucous round of laughter or told you not to sing, or said your personality was too big or scolded you for being inappropriate or told you that outfit wasn’t for you or laughed at your question or raised an eyebrow at your dance moves or told you to get your head out of the clouds- another layer. Every perceived failure, every moment of shame, another layer.
And so we learn to value the propaganda of others’ beliefs and opinions (which are almost always crimson-tinged with their own fears, insecurities, shame and I-am-not-enough stories) above the untainted information of our own inklings, instincts, intuitions, proclivities, blissful leanings (that are the shape of your soul.)
The shape of your soul, it’s there, unchanging, waiting. Waiting to be unearthed and discovered. Waiting for you to chip away at the false walls, the ticky-tacky siding, the layers of protection that have been caked on over the years to form a facade that takes the shape of who you think you’re supposed to be, and betrays the shape of who you really are.
And so don’t fret that you’re incomplete. Don’t seek outside of yourself. It’s all already here. Your only work is to unearth yourself from the layers of bullshit you’ve been dutifully building up as facts in the case for your not-enoughness. Take an ax to it. Tear it down.
You will work softly and gently at first, timid and unsure. But then as you scrape back the layers, you’ll pick up the scent. Your work will become fervorous, joyful, focused yet free, like a horse galloping home through a familiar, open field.
Realise that you are already complete and you become fully realised. It’s that easy. It’s that hard.