{"id":6941,"date":"2018-05-11T10:59:00","date_gmt":"2018-05-11T02:59:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/caitlincady.com\/how-to-say-no\/"},"modified":"2022-05-19T17:19:56","modified_gmt":"2022-05-19T09:19:56","slug":"just-say-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/caitlincady.com\/just-say-no\/","title":{"rendered":"How to say No."},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/caitlincady.com\/blogs\/blog\/are-you-being-of-service-or-servicing-your-self-esteem\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Last week we slide-tackled &#8220;Yes.&#8221;<\/a>&nbsp;We covered off <a href=\"https:\/\/caitlincady.com\/blogs\/blog\/are-you-being-of-service-or-servicing-your-self-esteem\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">the reasons why many of us are so quick to say yes<\/a>, and I offered up a few questions you can use to make sure that you use the word&nbsp;<em>Yes<\/em> more consciously and intentionally. This<\/span><span class=\"s1\">&nbsp;week we&#8217;re making friends with &#8220;No.&#8221; Here are a couple of strategies I&#8217;ve used with success:&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>BUY YOURSELF&nbsp;TIME<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<p><meta charset=\"utf-8\"><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span>I know that sometimes it&#8217;s hard or awkward when you&#8217;re caught on the spot with a question or request. Best thing to do? Buy yourself a bit of time to consider your answer.&nbsp; Give yourself the chance&nbsp;<\/span>to simmer down and make sure that you really <em>mean<\/em> to say Yes. In other words, if you feel like you&#8217;re under pressure to reply right away, don&#8217;t. Politely ask for time to create separation between the question and your answer. Beginning with gratitude helps.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Here are some examples:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>&#8220;Thank you for including me. <strong>Let me check my calendar<\/strong> and come back to you.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;That sounds really interesting, thanks for thinking of me. <strong>Is it alright if I marinate on that<\/strong> and come back to you?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Thanks for the invitation!<strong> I just need to check in<\/strong> with my family\/partner\/boss and see <strong>whether this is something we can commit to<\/strong>.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;<strong>I&#8217;m so honored that you&#8217;ve asked me<\/strong> and<strong> I want to consider my answer carefully<\/strong>. May I&nbsp;come back to you with an answer by Monday?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I&#8217;d be so honored to help you but <strong>I need to look at my current commitments and make sure that I can show up fully for you<\/strong>.&nbsp;May I come back to you with an answer later today?&#8221;&nbsp;<\/li>\n<li>\n<strong>&#8220;You know how much you mean to me, and I&#8217;m so glad you asked for my help<\/strong>. My plate is so full at the moment so I just need to check in and make sure it&#8217;s something I can take on right now. <strong>Would it be alright if let you know whether I can help by tomorrow<\/strong>?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Thanks for thinking of me! <strong>Can you please send&nbsp;<\/strong>through<strong>&nbsp;some details about what you need to my email? Then I can better understand what you&#8217;re looking for.<\/strong>&#8220;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>HOW TO SAY THOSE TWO LETTER LETTERS N.O.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<p><meta charset=\"utf-8\"><meta charset=\"utf-8\"><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><span>So what if you&#8217;ve marinated on the request and your answer is a No? I think many of us say &#8220;Yes&#8221; sometimes just because it&#8217;s&nbsp;<\/span>awkard<span>&nbsp;to say no! Amiright?!? S<\/span><\/span>ome of us&nbsp;break out in a sweat just thinking about uttering that tiny two-letter word! So, I present to you a little mix-tape of how to say N.O.<\/p>\n<p><meta charset=\"utf-8\"><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<b>Soften the blow of your No.<\/b>&nbsp;Include a posture of appreciation in the way you phrase your no. &#8220;Thank you for thinking of me&#8221; or &#8220;This sounds really amazing&#8221; or &#8220;I&#8217;m honored to be called upon&#8221; are a nice way to soften the blow of your No. You&#8217;re letting the person know that what they&#8217;ve asked for is valid and important.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<li>\n<b>Tell the truth.<\/b>&nbsp;Srsly. You don&#8217;t need to make up excuses or tell a white lie. Lay it out there. People are empathetic to the&nbsp;realities of life. And the circumstances of your No can also shed a little light&nbsp;for&nbsp;people &#8211; it helps them understand that it&#8217;s not personal, it&#8217;s practical.&nbsp;<span class=\"s1\">Plus, people don&#8217;t like you less for saying no, they respect you more for keeping it real.&nbsp;<\/span>Pssst&#8230;If they aren&#8217;t empathetic, maybe you should reconsider&nbsp;whether they are someone you want to be in&nbsp;relationship&nbsp;with. Just sayin&#8217;.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<li>\n<strong>Explain that you can&#8217;t offer what they need.<\/strong> If someone has asked you to commit to something that you really don&#8217;t have the resources for, you can politely decline by saying something like this, &#8220;Your project sounds really interesting and I am so&nbsp;honoured&nbsp;that you thought of me. That said, at this time, I&#8217;m not able to&nbsp;contribute&nbsp;the energy and time that your project deserves.&#8221;&nbsp;<\/li>\n<li>\n<b>Change your perspective.<\/b>&nbsp;Feel like you&#8217;re denying the person by saying No? Flip the script on that. You&#8217;re not denying them. You&#8217;re creating a space for someone else to say Yes. Someone who is better equipped for the job at hand. Someone with a better set of skills, or more time, or more energy to give. Your No makes way for someone else\u2019s Yes.<span class=\"s1\">&nbsp;Can you dig it? Service versus servitude, people. You don&#8217;t need to be everybody&#8217;s everything.&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><meta charset=\"utf-8\"><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>HOLD SPACE FOR THE HELL YESSES BY FLEXING YOUR NO MUSCLE.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">I hope these tools serve you and help you become a little more conscious when you say Yes, and a little more confident and comfortable when you say No.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><meta charset=\"utf-8\"><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\"><span>Now go on, flex that&nbsp;<\/span><em>No<\/em><span>&nbsp;muscle. H<\/span><\/span>old space in your life for the Hell Yesses by flexing your&nbsp;No muscle regularly. Practice. The more you use it the more dexterous it will become.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\">\n<p class=\"p4\">Have other tips for our tribe? Join the conversation in the comments, we&#8217;d love to hear from you! xx<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This week we&#8217;re making friends with &#8220;No.&#8221; Here are a couple of strategies I&#8217;ve used with success to cut my Yes addiction off at the knees and  flex that  No  muscle like a boss.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":6606,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Caitlin Cady |<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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