{"id":6910,"date":"2018-10-12T10:52:00","date_gmt":"2018-10-12T02:52:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/caitlincady.com\/respect-and-protect-your-boundaries\/"},"modified":"2022-05-13T12:14:30","modified_gmt":"2022-05-13T04:14:30","slug":"respect-and-protect-your-boundaries","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/caitlincady.com\/respect-and-protect-your-boundaries\/","title":{"rendered":"Respect and protect your boundaries"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Get home from work totally tapped out and irritated because you carried the load for your coworkers? Have a houseful of guests and feel like you got hit by a truck? Regularly bump all of your priorities to the bottom of the list so you can help someone else \u2014 and then feel annoyed with yourself? Busy making everyone else comfortable at the expense of your own discomfort?&nbsp;Showing up to help and then feeling angry in the aftermath? You, my friend, may have boundary issues.<\/span>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">ANGER SOUNDS THE ALARM<\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">My friend and teacher <a href=\"https:\/\/www.drscottlyons.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Dr Scott Lyons<\/a> once told me that \u201canger is the signal that lets us know our boundaries have been violated.\u201d Note that anger is not synonymous with rage. Yes, anger can be&nbsp;heated \u2014 like when you want to flip the bird or throw a plate at the wall. But anger has a lot of other less firey flavours like feeling annoyed or frustrated or having a sense of unfairness and injustice about a situation. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">In this way,&nbsp;the many faces of anger are all just trying to point out to you that a line has been crossed. They\u2019re sounding an alarm to say\u2026<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">&nbsp; <\/span>\u201chey homeslice, someone\u2019s all up in your shit.\u201d So instead of shaming your feelings, thank them for the service they provide \u2014 protecting your boundaries.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">BOUNDARIES ARE ABOUT SELF-RESPECT<\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Here\u2019s the thing. Having boundaries doesn\u2019t mean being an asshole. Boundaries are, in essence, about self-respect. Boundaries require you to value yourself enough to respect and protect your inner resources, being a good steward of your gifts, your time and your energy. Boundaries ask you to know your limits and honour them with integrity.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">PEOPLE RESPECT BOUNDARIES\u2014 IF THEY KNOW WHERE THEY ARE<\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">True, laying out boundaries takes bravery and confidence. But people won\u2019t like you less or think you\u2019re crazy for having boundaries. In fact, people will probably respect you more. And they\u2019ll be more than willing to respect your boundaries if they know where they are.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\">Don\u2019t take it for granted that people know where your boundary is. Or that they have the same&nbsp;tolerance as you. Or that they should know better. Some people are blind to boundaries and need a little extra guidance. But most people will happily stay on their side if you show them where the line is. So show them. Make it clear\u2014 for both of you.&nbsp;&nbsp;<br \/>\n<span class=\"s1\"><\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">CLAIM YOUR DOMAIN, PATROL YOUR BORDERS BRAVELY<\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Go out and survey your territory and claim your domain. Draw a circle around it. Protect your boundary gently or fiercely, whatever is called for. But protect it proudly.&nbsp;Do not let every customer, family member or friend hopscotch across your borders without your permission.&nbsp;Be brave enough to respect and protect your boundaries. Patrol your borders like a foot soldier, marching with integrity and purpose. Meet those who attempt to transgress with firmness, but also kindness. And when your feelings sound the alarm that a boundary has been violated, retrace the line, carve it out a little more clearly and begin again. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Having boundaries doesn\u2019t mean being an asshole. Boundaries are, in essence, about self-respect. Boundaries require you to value yourself enough to respect and protect your inner resources&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":6547,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[134,135,136,137,44,45,138,139,47,140],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Caitlin Cady |<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/caitlincady.com\/respect-and-protect-your-boundaries\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Caitlin Cady |\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Having boundaries doesn\u2019t mean being an asshole. 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