{"id":6897,"date":"2019-03-15T12:49:00","date_gmt":"2019-03-15T04:49:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/caitlincady.com\/share-accordingly\/"},"modified":"2022-05-19T17:04:57","modified_gmt":"2022-05-19T09:04:57","slug":"the-case-for-vulnerability-and-how-to-know-who-to-share-with","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/caitlincady.com\/the-case-for-vulnerability-and-how-to-know-who-to-share-with\/","title":{"rendered":"Share accordingly."},"content":{"rendered":"

For many of us, it\u2019s hard to be vulnerable. It\u2019s uncomfortable to unveil the raw and fragile aspects of ourselves. It\u2019s hard to show how much it hurts, how scared we are, how lost or lonely we feel. It\u2019s hard to lay out our pain, piece by piece. Sharing our failings, fears and (so-called) flaws can feel like taking a public inventory of our most intimate experiences. It can leave us feeling exposed and unguarded, worse than if we\u2019d just kept quiet. <\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s true that some people will betray the sacredness of your trust and vulnerability. Some people will use your pain as fodder for gossip (a way of hot-wiring cheap connections with others.) Some people will use it as a way to make themselves feel superior. Some people will betray your vulnerability by simply not grasping the gravity of what you\u2019ve shared. And that hurts too. <\/span><\/p>\n

One option to avoid all of this is to build a big fucking wall. Let no one in. Lock that shit down. Keep quiet. This feels safe. It\u2019s consistent, easy to stick to. A policy of total privacy. But it\u2019s also a recipe for accumulating and storing our experiences somatically, packing our cells with unprocessed emotions poisoned with the shame of being made unspeakable. <\/span><\/p>\n

This kind of emotional vigilance also isolates us, preventing us from creating any kind of true intimacy with others. Which means we miss out on closeness, connection, community, collective problem solving, healing, belonging and joy. All things that require vulnerability and trust. <\/span><\/p>\n

So here\u2019s my suggestion: Be vulnerable sometimes<\/i>. The truth is that some people are deserving of your trust and vulnerability. And some people are just\u2026not. <\/span><\/p>\n

Vulnerability works best and achieves its highest aims (connecting us, helping us heal) when it is met with respect and reverence. <\/span><\/p>\n

So don\u2019t shut down. Be brave enough to be vulnerable, and be discerning. Vet who is worthy of your vulnerability. Share accordingly.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sharing our failings, fears and flaws can leave us feeling exposed and ashamed. Here’s how to know who to share with.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":6522,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[42,88,89,17,23,90,91,92],"yoast_head":"\nCaitlin Cady |<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/caitlincady.com\/the-case-for-vulnerability-and-how-to-know-who-to-share-with\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Caitlin Cady |\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Sharing our failings, fears and flaws can leave us feeling exposed and ashamed. 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