The Downside Of Being A Doer
Being a doer has a lot of upside. We’re the ones who get the party started, light the match, spark the conversation, and create forward momentum for our families and communities.
However, if we don’t read the signals (from our bodies and our environment) and know how to downshift and embrace a slower pace when it’s called for, we inevitable find ourselves flattened by fatigue, burned up, and bummed out.
To that end, I’ve been thinking a lot about the pauses, the rest stops, the thresholds, the transition points, and liminal times in our lives.
Resisting Rest, Space and Stillness
I personally have a strong habit of resisting these moments, largely because I want action! Progress! Results! Revolution! Ideally, now! Slowing down and sinking into a pause really does not come naturally to me.
Resistance shows up in many forms — whether it’s putting on one more load of washing instead of lying down for a 15-minute rest, or spinning my wheels researching, checking, and double-checking a project rather than patiently allowing things to unfold in their own time.
My mind loves this way of operating. But my heart knows this doesn’t serve me.
Can you relate?
In the midst of juggling many roles, responsibilities and relationships, it feels impossibly hard to slow ourselves down or press pause, or just to embrace a liminal time in our lives. Add to that, most of us have been taught that our self-worth is earned through doing, producing, and caring for others. Pausing, resting, stillness, and embracing a void of space in our day or our life feels at odds with our goals, our identity, and our self-worth.
And yet, the very opposite is true.
Swapping What’s Next For What’s Now
Through pausing, through rest, through stillness, through reflection, we see ourselves and our lives more clearly. We have more energy — and more discernment about how to use it. We feel more grounded in our bodies, more at ease and more in flow with the timing and tides of our lives. More patient. More present.
Stepping out of the momentum of ‘what’s next’ and allowing ourselves to drop into ‘what’s now” is ultimately a practice of gratitude and presence that offers more satisfaction, richness, and joy than chasing down yet another task ever will.
And so my friend, as hard as it may be, as much resistance as we may feel, to be able to skillfully slow down, even for just a few moments, is an art worth devoting ourselves to.
The Skillful Slow-Down
Creating conscious pauses with meditation, breathwork, Yoga Nidra, rest, or even just laying down in the grass for 5 minutes, helps us practice shifting gears. Through repetition we become more comfortable and adept at skillfully navigate transitions between doing and being, action and rest, movement and stillness, in our day to day lives. In other words, what we practice “on the mat” or “on the cushion” reaps benefits in our lives “off the mat” and “off the cushion.”
We become more adept at punctuating our hours, days, weeks and months with pauses. We become more comfortable toggling between effort and rest, doing and being, striving and receiving. We more readily recognise the rich opportunities for restoration, reflection, nourishment and recalibration offered by these in-between-spaces. In other words, we manage our energy and our attention more wisely and reap the benefits of doing so.
Let’s Practice Together
This month in Heavily Meditated App, let’s practice resting in the spaces between. We’ll explore these themes through journaling and restorative practice, and get curious about how to weave more stillness and presence into the rhythm of our daily lives.
