My husband and I were driving in the car with our kids yesterday and as we drove along, a car was trying to pull out, cross traffic and merge into our lane. But the car was literally sitting in the middle of the busy street, in limbo. Neither here nor there. My husband said, “You can’t just hang out in the middle of the road and hope it’s okay, lady. You just have to go for it.”
I turned to him, gobsmacked and said, “Oh my God, that’s what I’ve been doing.”
You may know that I’m writing a book. I’m also in the process of refreshing my branding, rolling out some wild ideas, and generally investing in myself and my ideas in a way I never have before. It’s thrilling. And fucking scary.
In that moment, sitting in the car, I realized that I’ve been inching forward, looking side to side, looking for someone to give me a green light, wave me in and give me permission to make a big move. I’ve been sitting in the middle of the road, creeping forward, hoping it’s okay. If that’s something you can relate to in some way, this is a message for both of us:
It’s time to commit. To your dreams, your goals, your desires. Stop waiting for someone to tell you which way to turn. Stop hesitating. Stop ruminating. Stop second-guessing. Stop letting self-doubt drag you back. Stop waiting for the right time or the right sign. Stop wondering about what could be and go find out.
The resistance you’re feeling may be strong. But it’s wrong. Resistance tells you it’s keeping you safe. But it’s really keeping you small.
Resistance stands in the way of your growth, your expansion, the actualisation of your full potential. And ultimately, you have to make a choice between believing the resistance or breaking through it and expanding into your potential.
My favourite poet, Mary Oliver wrote that “the most regretful people on earth are those who felt the call to creative work, who felt their own creative power restive and uprising, and gave it neither power nor time.” (DAYAMN, MARY.)
The way I see it, “creative work” isn’t just what writers, designers, painters do. Creative work is something every single one of us does. Yes, creative work is painting, or writing, or designing or photographing. But it’s also making babies, serving your community, caring for your dreams, coming up with new solutions, or building a business. Creative work is any action related to how we express ourselves in the world, how we expand into our full potential. How you live your life is the most creative act.
With that in mind, think about what’s worse – trying (and maybe not succeeding) or living with the regret that you never even tried? The biggest failure isn’t the person who gives it a shot and flops. The biggest failure is the person who never tries.
So screw the resistance and fuck that fear of failure. Stop sitting in the middle of the road hoping it’s okay. Of course you can’t control the outcomes, but you can decide if your dreams matter enough to try. Every day you are either drifting away from your dreams or you’re charging toward them. What are you going to do today? Are you going to take steps forward or backward? It’s your choice.
My advice (to us both): Rise above the din of resistance. Chose your potential. Find the courage to commit. Lace up your boots. Pick up your tools. Start moving. It’s time.