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How Sadness, Grief & Regret Help Us Heal

by Caitlin Cady

How Sadness, Grief & Regret Help Us Heal

If there is something you are mourning, if there is grief or sadness that has cut you open, remember that when Sorrow comes to visit, she brings precious gifts with her. Gifts of healing. Gifts of perspective.

Sorrow is an alchemist, making medicine of our pain. Suturing and spreading balm on old wounds, mending relationships that were frayed, broken, busted and weary.

Sorrow casts a sweet spell of humility. Letting the words "I'm sorry" or "I forgive you" burst into bloom in our throats and spill out of our mouths.

Sorrow inspires us to make leaps over the gaps in our life where bridges have been burnt. Sorrow awakens us to our wings. Reminds us that we can always soar away from contempt, anger and blame, over the river of judgement, and land softly on the banks of understanding.

Sorrow reminds us that in the equation of a life, the bottom line is Love. Not things. Not awards. Not money. Not your dress size. Not how much you achieved. Not who was right or who was wrong. The bottom line is how well you listened. How freely you gave. How joyfully you served. How generous you were. How patient. How grateful. How you made people feel. How much room you made in your heart. How many tender moments you had.

Of course, next to these gifts of healing and perspective, Sorrow also holds within it the sharp spurs of Regret. These barbed messengers teach us that we can do better. So go do better while you have the time. Before your life slips through your fingers.

Thank Sorrow for her gifts. Let her remind you how precious this life is. How fleeting. How changeable. Honour her by accepting these gifts. Let them illuminate and soften any grievances calcifying the tender, tightly wound helix of your heart.

Start right now. Gather this moment up in your arms. Wrap it in the embrace of your full attention. Listen well. Love well. Be exquisitely tender, patient and grateful. Make time. Become a bridge. Lay down the heavy armour of judgement. Say "I'm sorry" like it's a prayer.

Remember that we only ever have two choices: love or fear. Remember that this life is only ever for loving. Remember that loving and giving are the only ways to make a life matter.

 

Caitlin Cady
Caitlin Cady



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